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Donald Trump Tweets Haemorrhoid Advice: Fake News to Soothe Where You Sit

There’s nothing more strange than a Donald Trump tweet. To have a little fun, we imagined the type of satirical tweets the public might be able to expect down the road if he ever had a problem with hemorrhoids.

By The Old Prof

His critics suggest that renowned celebrity US President Donald Trump is not always fully-connected to the truth. But, he doesn’t stop tweeting to his followers; and, you can learn everything from foreign policy to his thoughts on conspiracy-motivated enemies trying to entrap him – for example, his own federal law enforcement officers.

However, not everyone knows that President Trump is willing to share his expertise on a wide variety of topics. Here, and we have this on good authority, is his advice on treating haemorrhoids.

from wikimediacommons by Gage Skidmore

1) Take the foil off suppositories, I know from experience.

2) Don’t be confused. Witch hazel is different than a witch named Hazel.

3) Tea tree oil works: So plant trees that grow tea.

4) Use Vicks, when you quit running, it feels great.

5) Stick an apple in your shorts, the apple cider helps and you look manly.

6) High-fiber diets help. So, always eating upstairs rather than downstairs.

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