38 of the Worst Hockey Jokes: So Bad, They’re Kinda Good

Ever heard a really bad joke? Ever heard any related to the game of hockey? Well, if you haven’t and would like a few goodies for your arsenal, this is the post for you.

Admittedly, some of these jokes are downright awful. Frankly, some of them we didn’t even get. That said, some of them aren’t too bad, and if you’re looking for a way to break the ice (pun intended) at your next hockey party, at the rink watching your kids, or in a house league where you’re killing time, try a couple of these.

You’ll either be the talk of the bench or on the receiving end of some pretty serious hazing.

Our Power Play-Level Hockey Jokes

1. Why don’t hockey players like baking? Because they always get caught icing.
2. Why do hockey players make good comedians? They always have great setups and punchlines.
3. Why do hockey goalies get sick from their gloves? It’s always catching something!
4. How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They sit next to the fans.
5. Why did the scarecrow become a hockey goalie? Because he was outstanding in his field!
6. What do you call a goalie who gets hit in the mask? A mas-kissed man.
7. Why don’t hockey players like playing poker? Because they always get checked!
8. Why don’t hockey players ever get in trouble at school? They’re always good at passing!
9. How did the hockey player know he needed new gloves? He was getting a bad grip on reality.
10. What did the hockey puck say to the goalie? “I’m always up for a rebound relationship.”
11. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? He heard the level of competition was getting high.
12. Why do rookies think the door is always open? They’re often near a draft.

Our Neutral Zone-Level Hockey Jokes

1. What do you call a dinosaur that plays hockey? A slapshot-icus rex!
2. Why are math teachers often sad at hockey games? They have too many problems.
3. Why was the hockey rink so cold? All the fans were waving.
4. What did the hockey stick say to the puck? “I’m always there to support you!
5. Why don’t hockey players ever get lost? Because they always know where the rink is.
6. What did one hockey puck say to the other? “I’ve got some serious slapshot.”
7. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
8. What do you call a snowman with a hockey stick? Slap-frost.
9. What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
10. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? Because he heard the tickets were in the upper deck.

Our Penalty Kill-Level Hockey Jokes

1. What’s a hockey player’s favorite type of music? Heavy slapshot.
2. Why don’t hockey players like gardening? They prefer scoring goals over planting seeds.
3. What do you call a snowman playing hockey? A chill defender.
4. Why do hockey players never play hide-and-seek? Because good players are always on the ice!
5. What do you get when you cross a hockey player with a rodeo? A puckaroo!
6. Why did the hockey player bring a pack of crayons to the game? In case there was a face-off.
7. How do hockey players stay warm during winter games? They stay in the penalty box!
8. Why was the hockey team always ready for dessert? They always had a lot of ice cream!
9. What do you call a hockey player who can’t stop singing? A puck-a-rookey!
10. Why did the hockey player always bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hat trick!
11. Why don’t hockey players eat pears? Because they can’t find the core!
12. How do hockey players keep their hair in place? With goal-tie.
13. What do you call a hockey player who doesn’t shower? A foul stinker.
14. Why was the hockey team so good at baking? They always knew how to score the perfect goal-late!
15. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get his goalie mask.
16. What do you call a hockey player with no teeth? A gummy bear.

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